Wild @ Heart

Do you ever feel like you're faking it? Like somewhere in your journey with God you began feeling the pressure to be a “good Christian” so you slowly began wearing a mask. Or perhaps you feared rejection and wanted to fit in. And, since the other people in your church seemed to have it together, you began to act like you did too.

We all struggle with this at some point in our lives. Actually, many struggle with this for much of their lives. The Bible talks a lot about this problem of wearing a religious mask, otherwise known as hypocrisy, and Jesus addresses it on numerous occasions in the Gospels (see Luke 11, 12). As a matter of fact, it seems to be the one thing that upset Jesus the most. In the pages of the Gospels we find Jesus constantly confronting the Pharisees in the most direct and...how can I say it? Let's just say that He doesn't mince words.

Hypocrisy and religiosity are prevalent in the Church in South Africa, as they are in most places. And in my experience they seem to be especially prevalent in the townships. For a long time the guys I meet with have sensed that something isn't right, but it's just the way things are done. Basically, it's just standard operating procedure, if you will.

So, that brings us to the Epic Quest retreat that we hosted near Soshanguve, a local township. The content of the retreat was based on the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, which has had a big impact on my life. Each time I've read it, I have been challenged to deeply engage my heart and live in the fullness of who God has created me to be.

During these Epic Quest retreats, men are taken on a journey of the heart that not only exposes the masks that we wear, but also the wounds our hearts have suffered. And, as we face the these challenging issues, we encounter the Father's great love for us. Our hearts drink in the fact that we are the beloved of God.

In the two retreats that I have participated in, I am greatly encouraged by the responses of the young men from Soshanguve. Their honesty and willingness to face the past is courageous, and their willingness to remove their masks is heartening. And, although a good amount of their woundedness comes from nonexistent fathers and the absence of male role models, it seems that many of their masks come from imitating those who lead them in their churches. A sobering thought.

So our weekend together marks the beginning of a long journey. A journey that my teammate, Doug, and I will continue to walk alongside these young men. A journey towards living life to the fullest in partnership with God. A journey towards freedom.

Community Psalm

This is a community psalm that we recently wrote as part of our Friday Night worship and prayer time that we call "Rhythm". This was written in response to a time of worship that centered around our identity in Christ.


Lord, how much of You is in each day?
More than I could ever be aware of.
Praising You, I come seeking Your face,
You are my Refuge,
Your love drifts around me like air,
And I eagerly drink it in.
Oh Lord, my God, my Love, my Joy,
My Peace, my Provider, my King;
Let my life be a living testimony of Your magnificent love for me!
For You alone have made me whole,
Your grace, Lord, is beyond anything I could imagine.

The Lord of Love my Shepherd is,
I am His and He is mine forever.
You are my still calm waters,
And the fierce water that crashes upon the shore,
You take this frail vessel
And make something beautiful in Your time.
Oh Lord, my God,
Thank you for Your love.
Understanding what you are doing in the struggles and victories of others,
Gives life to my soul,
May I seek this understanding more often.

I was born to serve You, Oh Lord,
May Your love be upon me forever and ever.
You are too near to me for me to see You,
Too close for me to understand.
I am compelled by the colour of your countries,
Your voice is deeper than all roses,
No one, not even the rain, has such small hands.

And when all is said and done,
When the sun dips low and the stars reveal themselves in the heavens,
You write Your special name on my heart,
And claim me as Your own.
I will not forget the wonderful things my God has done for me,
For this, I am forever grateful.
For I am accepted, secure and significant,
Thank you for the Lamb,
Worthy is the Lamb,
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He touches me in my innermost being.

Not For Sale

This past week at Rhythm (our Friday night creative worship/prayer time), two of our apprentices showed a documentary about human trafficking, the sex industry and modern-day slavery. Most of the people affected by these horrendous injustices are women and children. It's hard to believe that such things still take place in our day and age. Although I was aware of many of these things, I was shocked by how widespread the problem is (including the U.S.).

This is one of the great blessings of community - we are able to learn from one another's passions. The heart of two of our apprentices has now informed the rest of our community. They have made us aware of issues that burden the heart of God. Actually, issues isn't the right word. These are people we are talking about, who are used and abused in the worst ways. And the "least of these" always seem to be on the heart of God.

This week in NieuCommunities South Africa we are talking about justice, spiritual warfare and our Contending God. God-of-the-Angel-Armies, as the Message puts it. We'll be using Isaiah 58 as a source of "alternative" spiritual disciplines in our spiritual practices time this week. The chapter is full of references to the kind of people, who are on the heart of God (see verses 6-9). How do we fight on behalf of the poor, oppressed, homeless, hungry, ill-clad (naked), etc.? Are any of these on your heart? If so, we'd love to hear your stories of mercy and how you are contending for those who suffer.

Related websites:
http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/ (Not For Sale)
http://tradeasone.com/ (Trade As One)

Happy 90th Birthday Nelson Mandela

Today we celebrate a man, who helped unify a nation that could have torn apart at the seams. In honor of Nelson Mandela I'd like to share some of his quotes:

If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa, there are also roads that lead to their goal. Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.

There is no such thing as part freedom.

If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.

In my country we go to prison first and then become president.

Selah

Love Your Neighbor

So, we pitched up at City Hall at 9:40 ready to march at 10:00 through the streets of Pretoria only to find that there were scarce few people gathered. Obviously, we were disappointed. However, once we located the organizers they assured us that busloads were on their way. The estimated numbers were 5,000, but in the end, I would guess that just over a thousand of us took to the streets. We basically walked for an hour from City Hall to the Parliment Buildings to deliver a document of "demands" to representatives of the President on behalf of foreigners, and more specifically, Zimbabweans.

A truck, equipped with a sound system and a number of chant leaders, led the way. I spent most of the time trying to stay in step with my "comrades" as we (well, mostly the Africans) chanted and sang, drawing the attention of those who lived in the apartments overlooking the streets of downtown. I also spent a lot of time thinking about this process and wondering why there were only 8 whites in this sea of people. The lack of white participation made me sad. Where were all the white people? How come I had never done something like this before? Is it fear? Does it just seem like a big waste of time? The questions linger. Sadly, the Africans seemed much more surprised by my presence, than by the lack of white participation.

Some have asked me why I would do something like this since I don't have a track record of demonstrating, protesting and marching. I guess the plight of Zimbabwe has been on my heart for a long time. What is happening there is simply inhumane. I wanted to stand in solidarity with those who are suffering - I thought it would help them to see there are people who love them and want the best for them. I also wanted to help bring their suffering to the attention of our fellow citizens, as well as those in power. I suppose I've been more and more convicted of staying in my "safe" zone and avoiding such events. The more I read the Gospels, the more I sense that it's places like this where I might have found Jesus...with those who are suffering.

All in all, the march on Sunday probably had the biggest impact on my heart than anything else. This has helped to propel me into action on what has become a very serious situation in our country - latest news is that 42 people have died and tens of thousands have been displaced from their homes due to violence. I am helping to collect food, blankets (it's winter here) and clothing for refugees, who live in and around our area. Also, NieuCommunities has made a room available to a husband and wife from Zimbabwe who are working in the area, and several of our apprentices are working with refugees in different parts of the city. If you would like to see a video of the march follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1nA9PmK_NU

Camping with Jesus

For my 43rd birthday I asked Daleen to plan a two-day personal, spiritual retreat for me. Although I have covenanted with our community to take such retreats for my health, as well as the health of our community, I still felt like I needed to justify the time. Why is it that? Does it feel too self-centered? Perhaps. Or somewhere in our soul do we feel unworthy of such a time? Perhaps.

Well, I figured I'd better just get over myself and take the retreat. However, I also knew that it would be easy to try and justify the retreat by doing lots of spiritual stuff - reading deep books, searching for that nugget of truth that would shape this year, blah, blah, blah. Therefore, I gave the reins to my wife and asked her to plan my time away.

Knowing my propensity to please others and justify my actions, Daleen set about planning the trip. First of all, she did a great job of reminding me of what the retreat was all about - basically, being with God in the same way that I would hang out with a good friend. No agenda. No pressure. This was a time for me to "be" together and enjoy the beautiful surroundings (it is His creation by the way). She encouraged me to not think too much, but rather to just be there with God. I thought about this and realized that when I'm with good friends I don't feel the pressure to talk about deep things. Or to talk at all. Sure those things happen, but I don't have to "make it happen."


The second thing Daleen did was to pick a place. A rustic cabin in a wooded ravine near a bubbling brook in the middle of a game reserve (where wild animals live). Do I need to say more? Is there a better place for a couple of guys to hang out, bond and deepen their love for one another? Maybe for you, but not for me.

Thirdly, she kept the agenda simple. Breathe deeply from the stomach and walk with God, enjoying His creation with Him. Doing that is like balm for my heart (as the Russian saying goes). Leave all books at home except the Bible and a novel. Basically, the two days were focused on one verse, "Be still and know that I am God." Or as the Message says, "Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at me, your High God..." Day 1 - find some animals and as you enjoy them consider what it means to be still at the core of your being, then ask God to meet you there. Day 2 - find some animals to enjoy and consider what it means to know that He is God.

I won't ruin this by making some big deal out of all I learned because I didn't "learn" anything. I did, however, realize that it was easy to spend two days in silence with my Maker. I must confess that I was a little apprehensive about spending two days in silence. In reality, on those few occasions when I did need to speak (to avoid being completely rude to others), I found myself yearning for silence. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone else, I was God's and God's alone.

By the second evening as I sat next to the campfire I realized just how peaceful my heart was. It wasn't some huge revelation, but rather a gentle awareness that my heart was in the place it was created to be - basically, enjoying His presence.

subMERGE

It's great to be reminded year after year that the learning postures (listening, submerging, inviting, contending, imagining and entrusting) are just as much for me as they are for our apprentices. "Apprentices of Jesus" was actually the theme of our recent NieuCommunities' worldwide staff conference that was held in South Africa (see photo).

We recently began our second learning posture of the year - Submerging. As we begin this posture I find myself asking the question, "What does it mean for me to surbmerge after living in South Africa for nearly 10 years?" In so many ways I have sunk roots in South Africa -we are surrounded by Daleen's extended family, our kids go to a local Afrikaans school, I own a house, we have some deep relationships, I know people in the local community, I am part of a staff team that has been together for years, etc. So, where is God calling me to submerge?

During our NieuCommunities' conference, God impressed on my heart to "go deeper with fewer." Thus began the process of examining my life and asking God who those "few" might be. Then I noticed that as I wrote my personal covenant for the year that I was tempted to ambitiously pursue more than Christ might be calling me to. I wanted to add more people and opportunities without necessarily listening for God's leading. Why? To prove that I am doing worthwhile ministry? Is "more" better? As my wife likes to say, "Sometimes less is more."

I also sense that he is calling me to go deeper with our staff team. I find that living in intentional community doesn't necessarily mean that we all have deep relationships. And while I know that I can't know everyone to the same depth, I also know that I need to pursue our staff team more deeply. They are the ones who are travelling with me long-term.

Submerging isn't just related to others. There are things of the heart that God is walking me through and asking me to engage at a deeper level. There are also parts of my personality, as well as skills and knowledge that I want to grow in, especially in the areas of spiritual formation, coaching/mentoring and creative worship experiences. And finally, I desire to identify more deeply with Jesus and love Him more fully.

Obviously all of this won't happen at once. This is what I want to work into the fabric of my life - my days, weeks and months. As I move forward I will continue to listen, be intentional, take time to examine my life and, perhaps most importantly, give myself some grace. I invite you into this journey with me - where is God calling you to submerge more deeply?