Friday, December 19, 2008

and give you peace

Daleen sent this out to some of her friends last week and I asked if I could post it here. Enjoy.

I wanted to share a story with you: One that reminds me of the old woman who gave the two coins as offering. Remember how Jesus said she gave more than anybody because she gave everything she had.

A few days ago we took my dad out to Nando's (a local restaurant) for lunch. The lady who waits tables have been working there for ever, but it is not because I go there often that I remember her, it is the way she serves that left an impression on me. This day was no different than any other she was helpful and sincerely friendly. I gave her a very big tip and she was so grateful that it made me want to give her more. Actually it put me in a real giving mood. I even prayed and ask God to help me find ways to give this Christmas season in a way that might not necessarily change lives but that will give joy. I am having a lot of fun handing out the joy of Christmas in small ways.

But this story is not about me, I thought it was when I sat down this morning with my tea. I was thinking about giving and the joy it brings to those who give and those who receive, wishing I had lots of money to just go crazy and give all over the place. And this was when God reminded me of the lady at Nando's. She gives everyday and blesses lives with her giving, she blessed me and my family, but what did she give? The gift of money or things - no. She gave a greater gift. She gives the only thing she has. She gives herself. Her gift will last for ever, and I'm sure my tip was well spent, but long gone.

Is this not the meaning of Christmas? Jesus gave the greatest gift, He gave himself.

May you experience the joy of this season and all that it holds.

Monday, December 15, 2008

HeArt

December 2008

Dear family and friends,
Each year it is a privilege to follow God's call on our lives. To live out the deep desires of our hearts. To pour into young leaders and others who live near us. To live missionally as we engage the world around us.

Each year it is also a privilege to be poured into. To be challenged by those we work with and those we lead. To be mentored by those more mature. To be pursued by a loving God. To be led into deeper realms of the heart.

At the end of each NieuCommunities' year, both staff and apprentices create a heArt project, where we share what God has done in our hearts through art. Mosaics, sketches, photography, paintings, sculptures and interactive visual arts have all been used to help convey the shaping of our hearts. Daleen and I would love to share our heArts with you.

Bryan - Humility
There are three words that come to mind as I think of this year – darkness, brokenness and humility. My heart journey began in January as I read a small, powerful book in our sitting room. The book, From Brokenness to Community by Jean Varnier, was already striking a deep chord within me. On this particular morning, however, it stopped me in my tracks. It was a simple sentence about how living in tight community helps us to see the darkness of our hearts. How we have lived our whole lives in a spirit of competitiveness, rivalry, anger and jealousy.

After reading this sentence I was unable to read further. I kept trying, but I couldn't. It was as if God was shining a bright light, if ever so briefly, into my heart. He offered me a glimpse beyond the veil, to the areas of my heart that need deep healing. The darkness was overwhelming. I was appalled.

As the year moved on, the image of being prostrate before God kept coming to mind. I didn't feel like I was prostrate myself, although I did feel like I was moving that direction. It's as though I was happy to be kneeling before God, but lying prostrate seemed too uncomfortable, too broken. Who wants to be broken?

In the latter part of the apprenticeship we read another small, powerful book called The Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards. The book looks at the life of David and how he related to Saul, who was king over him, and Absalom, who was trying to take the throne from him. It is convicting, asks hard questions and offers no easy answers. The way in God's kingdom is brokenness and humility.

I know that God is breaking me. Not to destroy me, but to use me. I wish I had room to share how God is doing this, however, those stories are probably better left for a long conversation over a good cup of coffee. This journey towards humility won't be a short one, and it doesn't promise to be an easy one, but it is definitely a necessary one.

Daleen – Coming into my own
“Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it.”-C Morley

Sunset over the African bushveld, baby elephants, the sound of water falling, tea in a pretty teacup, Lavender and Calla lilies. Zoe in the morning when she is still warm from sleep, red nails and high heels, thunderstorms. Kyle's eyes when he is excited, old things with new life, baby toes. Bryan's hand on the small of my back when he guides my path. These are a few of my favorite things!
I am 37; I have always disliked my chin and my big arms, I hate feeling stupid and I have bad luck with card games. I am painfully “anal” when I host people and at other times I couldn't care less. I read the end of a book first to see if is worth spending time reading the whole thing. I purposefully leave laundry in the dryer because I hate folding it.

I have spent a lot of time over the past years fighting against myself. I have struggled with my identity, my looks, my parenting and my gifts. I have learned to accept some and I have changed others. It has been a long and sometimes painful journey, but at the end of this year when I had to create a heArt project, I found that I was good with ME.

I felt settled into who God has created me to be. I still dislike some things about myself, and need to grow so much in some areas of my life, but overall I have made peace with Daleen. I like who I am, where I am going and what God wants to do through my life. To tell you the truth it was not that easy to accept. We are so used to being discontent with everything that when we find peace we don't always know what to do with it. Enjoy it! revel in it! flaunt it- it is a great gift from God – and I love it.

My heArt project is about taking off the masks that are so heavy to carry around with us. It is about accepting my past and being intentional with my future. It is about calling my mistakes “experiences” and becoming better because of them. It is about living the adventure and enjoying the journey.

“Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen , and that they all fit.” -Oscar Wilde

Your HeArt
As you reflect over this past year, we trust that you will see all that God has been doing in your heart. Take some time to think, journal, paint, draw or sculpt, then offer it and yourself back to Him as a gift of thanks. For Christmas is a time to celebrate the fact that He has pitched His tent among us.

Merry Christmas, Bryan, Daleen, Kyle and Zoe