I remember when I was a young Christian and the zeal I had to please God in obedience. I still desire to please God, and to walk in obedience, but I often don't feel that same excitement that I had when all was new. Over the past 25 years there have been times that I've found myself asking God to restore those feelings. Why?I suppose it is a bit like marriage. I can't keep living off the emotional rush that I used to get just by holding Daleen's hand. Truth is, the emotional rush fades. A deep love takes over and you find yourself loving and pursuing for different reasons. What motivates me in my love relationship with Daleen? with God? Perhaps it is a knowledge that deep fulfillment, true joy or the best happiness I can find, will be found in that deeper pursuit. In that place that I seek contentment, rest and peace.
I also believe that I will find my passion there. Passion doesn't come from a half-hearted relationship. Not with my wife. Not with my kids. Not with my work. And, certainly, not with God. I want to live a life of passion. Or maybe it's better said that I want to live my life out of my passions. I am often tempted to find passion through adventure, but I think I have it backwards. Adventure is found in living out my passions. I would venture to say that a life without passion is a life half-lived.
Passion gets some bad press because it has been perverted and abused. It is not lust, but rather a deep and abiding driving force that compels us into the inner sanctum of the heart. I suppose that is why we refer to the suffering of Jesus as the Passion.
God's invitation to man includes an invitation to live out our passions with Him. I think of moments where God and I seem to be operating out of a oneness of spirit. Where He seems to be flowing in and through me. Being knitted together in a way not easily described by words. However, I find that these times don't happen in a vacuum. They come from a life of living in His presence. A well-known writer once said that in our relationship with our children quality time flows out of quantity time. It seems to be the same with God.
