Camping with Jesus

For my 43rd birthday I asked Daleen to plan a two-day personal, spiritual retreat for me. Although I have covenanted with our community to take such retreats for my health, as well as the health of our community, I still felt like I needed to justify the time. Why is it that? Does it feel too self-centered? Perhaps. Or somewhere in our soul do we feel unworthy of such a time? Perhaps.

Well, I figured I'd better just get over myself and take the retreat. However, I also knew that it would be easy to try and justify the retreat by doing lots of spiritual stuff - reading deep books, searching for that nugget of truth that would shape this year, blah, blah, blah. Therefore, I gave the reins to my wife and asked her to plan my time away.

Knowing my propensity to please others and justify my actions, Daleen set about planning the trip. First of all, she did a great job of reminding me of what the retreat was all about - basically, being with God in the same way that I would hang out with a good friend. No agenda. No pressure. This was a time for me to "be" together and enjoy the beautiful surroundings (it is His creation by the way). She encouraged me to not think too much, but rather to just be there with God. I thought about this and realized that when I'm with good friends I don't feel the pressure to talk about deep things. Or to talk at all. Sure those things happen, but I don't have to "make it happen."


The second thing Daleen did was to pick a place. A rustic cabin in a wooded ravine near a bubbling brook in the middle of a game reserve (where wild animals live). Do I need to say more? Is there a better place for a couple of guys to hang out, bond and deepen their love for one another? Maybe for you, but not for me.

Thirdly, she kept the agenda simple. Breathe deeply from the stomach and walk with God, enjoying His creation with Him. Doing that is like balm for my heart (as the Russian saying goes). Leave all books at home except the Bible and a novel. Basically, the two days were focused on one verse, "Be still and know that I am God." Or as the Message says, "Step out of the traffic. Take a long, loving look at me, your High God..." Day 1 - find some animals and as you enjoy them consider what it means to be still at the core of your being, then ask God to meet you there. Day 2 - find some animals to enjoy and consider what it means to know that He is God.

I won't ruin this by making some big deal out of all I learned because I didn't "learn" anything. I did, however, realize that it was easy to spend two days in silence with my Maker. I must confess that I was a little apprehensive about spending two days in silence. In reality, on those few occasions when I did need to speak (to avoid being completely rude to others), I found myself yearning for silence. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone else, I was God's and God's alone.

By the second evening as I sat next to the campfire I realized just how peaceful my heart was. It wasn't some huge revelation, but rather a gentle awareness that my heart was in the place it was created to be - basically, enjoying His presence.